Papercut
by Sakura Cherries
Summary: It's from Aki's point of view...the way he goes through changes and stuff. Spoilers for Volume 5. It's a songfic to Linkin Park's 'Papercut...' Please R & R!


It's getting darker. I glance out the window, and see nothing but pearly clouds swirling in the night sky. That makes me smile--Aya always liked watching the stars blossom. We would stay up late while munching on onigri and talk about school, talk about friends.   
But not anymore. As I chew on the end of my pencil, I notice that it's getting lighter outside. I've been working on homework for what, 5 hours now? With a little laugh I think of the things Alec would say to me if he knew I stayed up this late to finish the assignments given to me. 'Aki, lad, if I knew you were not getting proper sleep, I would've tried to cut your work load down.!'  
As I think of the excuse I'll be giving Alex for not doing page 231 in my Chinese book, a chill runs up my spine. I feel like something's going wrong--but what, exactly? I crack my knuckles nervously and look around. I see my room--wait, not my room. I see the room Kagami gave me. For the time being. A thin sliver of light falls across my bed, and I slip into a small fantasy about what I could be doing that very moment--sleeping.

_Why does it feel like night today?_

_Something in here's not right today. _

I shake my head angrily. I should be doing my homework. I should be trying to find the hagoromo. For Aya. NOT sleeping. NOT eating. NOT thinking. Just finding the hagoromo. I hear a knock at the door. I whip my head up from the papers before me and beckon the visitor in. It's Wei. Not that I'm not glad to see him--he talks to me, he's nice and I think sometimes he understands--but it doesn't seem to me like he wants to talk.  
To me. Of all people--he doesn't want to talk to me. Well, fuck him. I don't want to talk to him either. 'Aki, is something the matter? Is something bothering you?' I glare at the ebony haired man and snap back at him. 'No, nothing is the matter!' I feel bad at the look in his eyes, but that's his fault for being here. For being anywhere…Alright, so it's my fault. I humbly apologize, and his face seems to lighten.  
_  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left_ I'm not too eager to talk to him, maybe you can tell. I know he can. I can see it in the slight shaking of his fingertips as he runs them through his hair. He seems to be studying me with his golden eyes; his eyes that pierce straight through to my soul. And it's driving me insane. There are flames of rage, tears of blood in his eyes and I can see them. Clearly. 'What do you want?' My voice rings out through the air, cold and loud although it conceals fear within. It's not the fear that Wei picks up; he's too surprised by my unusual show of anger. 'I think I'll just go now,' he says, kind of sadly. 'GOOD. You do that then.' I watch as he shuffles out of the door, and I'm proud of myself. I don't need a bodyguard.

_ I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed_

Ah. I'm not being myself! Aya would be mad at me for treating someone that cruelly for no reason. I didn't want to. He just seemed like, kind of a threat, that's all. I look back down at my giant stack of paper and try to come up with what Sakura would be in Chinese. Ying Fa, think. It was very uninteresting, let me tell you. So I just pushed my chair over to the fishes swimming in the tank and watch them for quite a while.  
'Aren't you bored, just swimming like that?' I ask the neon tetra that zips quickly past my face. He almost seemed to glance at me, but I don't think he knew that I was talking to him. Fishes are that stupid. The scary thing about that was, I could almost hear someone laughing at my own stupidity. But I've gotten used to it--I've been hearing that mockery a lot lately. Or, have I gotten used to it? I think I just try to ignore it; but I always seem to feel that it's in vain.   
I stand up--I'm a bit sore; I haven't moved for a while. As I make my way across the room, to where my bed tempts me, and I trip over my slipper. Is it just me, or do I hear laughter? Hideous, mocking laughter? I slip under the crimson covers and hope that it stops. But I just see the face of horror. The face of that mysterious being laughing at me. His brown hair is tied tightly back-he looks familiar, he's wearing ancient clothes-but I can't place the name. And I really don't want to.

_ But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head  
It's like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
And watches everything  
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right underneath my skin_

I clench the covers in my hands. I open my eyes-and see that my knuckles are turning white. I hear that laughing again. And again. WHY WON'T IT STOP? With a shriek I kick off my covers, and in a flash I'm over by the bookshelf. I swipe everything off of my bookshelf, and watch in satisfaction as a porcelain doll smashes into thousands of fragile pieces.  
Wei Fei Li runs into the room, his eyes open in surprise. 'Master Aki? Are you alright?' I briefly glance at him and then throw myself upon the bed in anger. He ignores me as I proceed to throw my tantrum-just making sure I'm not going to kill myself or anything like that. I feel something pulling at me from the inside-beckoning me; calling me.  
But I resist. The next thing I know, I am being told to go with Grandpa. I must have blacked out. I don't want to go with that stupid old man. He wants to KILL Aya. Who would want to kill such a beautiful, mystical, sexual being? Oh my God…she's my sister. I love Aya but I'd never think like that! I march down the halls; staring at my reflection in the shiny marble as I push Grandpa's cart down to the warehouse room.  
_  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin_

We arrive at the destination, and he smiles in a way that makes my blood run cold. It's not a warm, fatherly smile-rather, a cold, empty, lifeless kind of smile. He's starting to scare me--telling me that I was the reincarnation of a dead ancestor. That wouldn't surprise me--I think about Aya, and how she's got that 'Ceres' inside her. I feel awful when I think about the things I'm going through, she's probably having it 10 times worse.  
Whenever I feel that painful little stab of sorrow in my heart, she probably feels a flood of anxiety and sadness. It was then that I made my vow to search, day and night, for Ceres' hagoromo so Aya won't have to put up with that beast. Suddenly, Grandpa opens a wooden coffin, and shows me something I had no desire to EVER see.  
Ceres' dead, naked, and rotting mummy.

_I know I've got a face in me  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
You've got a face on the inside too and  
Your paranoia's probably worse  
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
I can't add up to what you can but  
Everybody has a face that they hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time they lie  
A face that laughs every time they fall  
And watches everything  
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is watching you too  
Right inside your skin  
_  
I never wanted to see that. But somehow, it already seems familiar. I look over her body; taking in the curves of her well preserved being, taking in every crevice in her heavenly body. And I feel something, a familiar feeling, pulling at the back of my soul. I shriek in anguish, much to the surprise of my grandfather. Damn him. It is him who is doing this to me. Not my Grandpa--would you exactly expect me to like him, after this?- -but no, he isn't the subject of my hate. That bastard inside me is the one I'm after…but in a way, I'm glad. Now I don't have anything to be afraid of.  
And now I know; deep in my heart, that I can't win this battle, as hard as I am trying. I hear the voice laughing and I'm silently cursing myself for being as weak as I am. "Aya. I told you...that I wouldn't lose. But I should have known...it looks like...there's no way out...I.." Grandpa, Kagami, Wei. I can feel all of their eyes upon me as I speak to my sister. I hope she can hear me…this is causing me a great deal of pain; but I would do it again and again for her. I feel hot tears welling up in my eyes-they slip down on my cheeks, and land on the floor. Ah, it is not the tears that are on the floor, it is me. "Sorry, Aya.Goodbye."

Aki stood up off of the ground and glared with amethyst eyes at his Grandfather. In a swift and accurate movement of his powerful hands, he clasped the old man's skull between his fingers and broke it. Grandpa was dead. Aki looked up with eyes full of fury and examined Kagami. "Where is my woman?" he asked in a monotone voice. His eyes had a new twinkle to them, and everything about him seemed sharper, more defined, more cruel. "Ceres…my woman…where is she?"

Aya turned the envelope over and over in her fair hands. Something felt less than right. She read the perfect writing that adorned the front. "To Aya." She gently traced over the writing with the tip of her finger. A pang of longing tugged at her heart. She missed her brother dearly. He had made her feel somewhat safer, somewhat calmer. As she observed the envelope, she saw something scribbled in a small corner. She squinted her eyes to read it. "If I am taken over, please kill me.?" She looked out of the window, sadness dancing in her sapphire eyes. "Aki."

_ It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
The face inside is right beneath your skin  
The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me  
The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me_

It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin


End file.
